Struggles

I haven't written anything lately mostly because of the internal struggle I continue to have with my self, that goes something like this..."I don't have anything positive to write", "I have too many things to do and writing on the blog takes too much time.", "I have too bad of an attitude to write anything nice and I complain too much as it is." and "No one reads it anyway so why should I bother." I have finally overcome. I decided that someday I will look back on this, laugh and be glad that I took the time to write it (type it) down.
As you can tell I'm not in a positive emotional state today, or have I been for the last little while. Don't get me wrong I am keenly aware of everything I have and that I have SO much to be grateful for but I find that when I/we (I should include Ryan in this) have so much thrown at us at once I tend to get really tired. And when I get tired my natural reaction is to look at all I don't have and want...want being the operative word. Then of course I am not very fun to be around. I don't verbalize it, I'm just really quite and my temper is short. I have a tendency to hold things in until I blow up. Those that are closest to me bare the brunt of this which of course leads to more guilt about how I'm a terrible wife/mother and that I really am blessed. That I am an ungrateful person and I shouldn't feel this way in the first place. (sigh...)
So I should recap those things that have happened in the past little while, good and bad, for posterity's sake. Let's start with the bad and get it over with, so that the good is the last thing anybody reads and hopefully will stick with you longer.
First, a few weeks ago I went into my boys room to find that the carpet was wet in one corner. I thought that they had been having a "tea party" with their sister and had spilled some water. Ryan went down latter and noticed the same thing, but he thought enough to explore it further only to find that their closet along with the everything on the floor in there where soaked through. Long story short our downstairs shower is located on the other side of the wall and the drain had not been sealed properly, so that every time the shower was used all the water wasn't going where it needed to. Now we get to replace the shower, (which we knew had to be replaced eventually) as well as carpet and fix dry wall. We are trying to look on the bright side..."at least it wasn't the pipes inside the walls."
Second, I try to be a good wife and use coupons to do my shopping, so I was on the computer the other day printing some coupons off at a websites that offers "free printable grocery coupons". While on one that I have used many times before our computer started freaking out! I had windows popping up everywhere saying that we were being attacked by a virus. First thinking that the firewall, anti-virus software we had on our computer would be doing it's job. Then I disconnected the Internet line from the computer and tried to close things up so I could run a "scan" with our security software, but I wasn't able to. Our Internet browsers kept pulling up window after window trying to get to different porn sites! Talk about Mad! I couldn't believe that someone would make a virus like this, secondly that they would put it through a coupon site that women used. Long story short we tried 3 different anti-spy ware software still unable to get rid of it, finally doing a complete system restore. It seems to be working okay for now.
Third, night before last the kids had just gotten out of the tub when I went down stairs to find the ceiling dripping and the floor of our downstairs bathroom flooded. Again we thought we had a pipe leak especially since the light in the bathroom and the laundry room on the other side of it wasn't working, but after much stress and investigation we found the reason. The good thing, it wasn't a pipe and that the safety switch on the outlet in the bathroom just need to be reset (for some reason the lights to both rooms are connected to the plug) The bad thing, Mason had pored 1/2 of the tub water on the floor and it had leaked through the tile on the floor, through the backer board (which we now think is not there), through the sub-floor and finally through the downstairs ceiling. Now we get to replace the bathroom floor. Tired doesn't even begin to explain how I am so done with problems!
Now onto the GOOD....First, Ethan has lost is two top front teeth. He looks so cute and even sounds cute because he can't pronounce his words very well without his teeth.
Second, I am enjoying my photo class for the most part. I am learning a lot but am finding that the more I learn the more I want a new SLR camera, that we can't afford. ;( On the plus side I am able to take better pictures with the camera that I have now. I would post some but I lost them when our computer had all the problems with the virus. I will take some new ones and post them soon as I have an assignment this week.
Finally, Mason got a new hair cut and looks very cute. I think he might make his way into some of my pictures for my photo class assignment.
That is about it for now. I now have to make call to get a copy of my MRI for my next back injection and download the paperwork for my US citizenship. My green card is expiring in December and I have to find out if it would be worth it to get my citizenship rather than renewing my green card. I'm torn at the moment because for reasons my husband and others can not understand I am very proud to be a Canadian. I am very proud of my country even with it's draw backs. It still is a place of great people, beauty and heritage. I miss it all the time, but I guess since the chances that I'm ever going to get to live there again is slim to none I should just get over it and try to embrace the country I live in, eh?