Spring Fever

I officially have spring fever!! Almost all the snow is gone and the weather is in the mid 40's. I want to go to Lowe's Home Improvement and spend some of our tax return and get our much needed new dishwasher but I'm finding my practical side is kicking in. So I will do my homework first and get the best dishwasher for our budget.
I also want to just spend a whole morning/afternoon at Lowe's looking at different things, like flooring for our upstairs bathroom, a shower stall for our downstairs or maybe tile (I know Ryan you don't want to worry about tile) and paint. Always paint....you can do so much with paint. Right now I would have to take my kids and I don't want to because they are all over the place and I leave frustrated. Lowe's should be a happy place. I know, I know I have a problem, but I honestly LOVE seeing how I can decorate/re-do a room for the least amount of $$. My husband really hit the jackpot when he married me because the greatest gifts I get are power tools!!! Oh to have a table saw, miter saw, router, etc. Forget Ryan wanting a garage with a full workshop - I'm the one who would die for one!
This time of year my sickness gets bad as I am finding that I want to take on BIG projects. Last year at this time I started redoing my kitchen cabinets, which I love but have yet to finish the little details for lack of the proper tools. Cutting molding at the right angles, especailly in my kitchen is a challenge when all you have is a circular saw that attaches to a drill, but I'll figure it out because it is REALLY starting to bug me.
Oh well I guess I will take one thing at a time and enjoy the journey, right?

Getting Better

Well Ryan is starting to feel a little bit better but is still "working from home" today. I guess it's nice that he can sleep while having his phone on counts as working, but it helps that today is Presidents Day here in the U.S. which means that most banks are closed except Ryan's. I'm starting to get worn down and would REALLY like Ryan to be back up and running, and I'm sure he would be too. My husband isn't a very good sick person as most men are but I guess he is better than most as he just wants to be left alone to suffer in peace. The kids are really starting to miss their Dad though.
Today it is over cast and raining which I hope is a sign that spring will soon be on it's way. Although I don't miss the heat I do miss the sun and being able to open up all the windows in my house. We are starting to feel the staleness of not having any fresh air through the house for awhile and spring fever is starting to set in. The kids wanting to be outside all the time but not wanting the coats on and the lack of a swing set. The over cast day doesn't help these feeling either.
I have to admit that I am wanting to get out and start planting. I think maybe we should look into getting a green house then maybe we could have a longer/earlier growing season. I love having fresh vegetables just outside our door, but I guess that once the planting is done Ryan does do most of the work. He tells me that the yard and all things outside the house are his, so I am more than willing to let him once the heat comes.
Now we are just trying to get out of the winter blues and find the energy and motivation to start the spring cleaning, as well as lose some weight. Ryan and I REALLY need to and we just don't have the motivation. We love our comfort food too much. Maybe we could get Jillian Michaels to come to our house and help us out. I hear she has a new show where she does that and I bet Ryan would just love it. ;)
Anyway this is just a hodge-podge of things to help keep me going with the blog update thing. I hope you enjoyed it because I know I did. (ha,ha)

Home Sick

So the 2010 Vancouver Winter Olympics start tonight and I have found that with all the coverage that two things have happened to me at once. The pride I feel for my homeland has grown (if that were possible) and that I am getting home sick. I have been to Vancouver and love that city. If there was a city that I would think to be perfect it's Vancouver with it's mountains to the east and the ocean to the west; with Stanley Park and Water Street it just has a little of everything. But I am also missing Alberta, it is so beautiful there, as you can see in this picture that my very talented cousin Heather Palmer Ward took. And of course I miss my family because they are just the best! They are just cool to hang out with, so fun and accepting. I find myself wishing my kids could grow up around them; to have time to get to know them. We really don't see Ryan's family all that much because we do live 40 minutes from his parents, so I feel a little isolated at times. Besides lets face it, Ryan's family and I have not always been on the best of terms. I know that I am "different", and I'm Okay with that. It's one of the reason's I think Ryan married me because I wasn't really like his family. That doesn't make anyone better than the other just different, but it does make me want to be around my crazy family more because I'm just like them. Does that make any sense?
Oh, just to let you know I will be staying Canadian for now. I looked into getting my US citizenship and it is twice as much $$ than just renewing my Green Card. Ryan is telling me "we still have a few months". I think he is going to try and talk me into finding the money somewhere to get my US citizenship but that would mean not going to Canada this summer and I am not willing to give up my trip for something I'm not for sure I'm ready to do yet. In the oath you take to become a US citizen you have to "renounce all ties and affiliations with other counties". To me that has a lot a meaning and maybe I'm taking it too literally but I feel it's a very serious statement. I'm trying to take it as such.
But right now I'm just very proud to be a Canadian so I hope everyone enjoys the games because I sure will. GO CANADA!

Struggles

I haven't written anything lately mostly because of the internal struggle I continue to have with my self, that goes something like this..."I don't have anything positive to write", "I have too many things to do and writing on the blog takes too much time.", "I have too bad of an attitude to write anything nice and I complain too much as it is." and "No one reads it anyway so why should I bother." I have finally overcome. I decided that someday I will look back on this, laugh and be glad that I took the time to write it (type it) down.
As you can tell I'm not in a positive emotional state today, or have I been for the last little while. Don't get me wrong I am keenly aware of everything I have and that I have SO much to be grateful for but I find that when I/we (I should include Ryan in this) have so much thrown at us at once I tend to get really tired. And when I get tired my natural reaction is to look at all I don't have and want...want being the operative word. Then of course I am not very fun to be around. I don't verbalize it, I'm just really quite and my temper is short. I have a tendency to hold things in until I blow up. Those that are closest to me bare the brunt of this which of course leads to more guilt about how I'm a terrible wife/mother and that I really am blessed. That I am an ungrateful person and I shouldn't feel this way in the first place. (sigh...)
So I should recap those things that have happened in the past little while, good and bad, for posterity's sake. Let's start with the bad and get it over with, so that the good is the last thing anybody reads and hopefully will stick with you longer.
First, a few weeks ago I went into my boys room to find that the carpet was wet in one corner. I thought that they had been having a "tea party" with their sister and had spilled some water. Ryan went down latter and noticed the same thing, but he thought enough to explore it further only to find that their closet along with the everything on the floor in there where soaked through. Long story short our downstairs shower is located on the other side of the wall and the drain had not been sealed properly, so that every time the shower was used all the water wasn't going where it needed to. Now we get to replace the shower, (which we knew had to be replaced eventually) as well as carpet and fix dry wall. We are trying to look on the bright side..."at least it wasn't the pipes inside the walls."
Second, I try to be a good wife and use coupons to do my shopping, so I was on the computer the other day printing some coupons off at a websites that offers "free printable grocery coupons". While on one that I have used many times before our computer started freaking out! I had windows popping up everywhere saying that we were being attacked by a virus. First thinking that the firewall, anti-virus software we had on our computer would be doing it's job. Then I disconnected the Internet line from the computer and tried to close things up so I could run a "scan" with our security software, but I wasn't able to. Our Internet browsers kept pulling up window after window trying to get to different porn sites! Talk about Mad! I couldn't believe that someone would make a virus like this, secondly that they would put it through a coupon site that women used. Long story short we tried 3 different anti-spy ware software still unable to get rid of it, finally doing a complete system restore. It seems to be working okay for now.
Third, night before last the kids had just gotten out of the tub when I went down stairs to find the ceiling dripping and the floor of our downstairs bathroom flooded. Again we thought we had a pipe leak especially since the light in the bathroom and the laundry room on the other side of it wasn't working, but after much stress and investigation we found the reason. The good thing, it wasn't a pipe and that the safety switch on the outlet in the bathroom just need to be reset (for some reason the lights to both rooms are connected to the plug) The bad thing, Mason had pored 1/2 of the tub water on the floor and it had leaked through the tile on the floor, through the backer board (which we now think is not there), through the sub-floor and finally through the downstairs ceiling. Now we get to replace the bathroom floor. Tired doesn't even begin to explain how I am so done with problems!
Now onto the GOOD....First, Ethan has lost is two top front teeth. He looks so cute and even sounds cute because he can't pronounce his words very well without his teeth.
Second, I am enjoying my photo class for the most part. I am learning a lot but am finding that the more I learn the more I want a new SLR camera, that we can't afford. ;( On the plus side I am able to take better pictures with the camera that I have now. I would post some but I lost them when our computer had all the problems with the virus. I will take some new ones and post them soon as I have an assignment this week.
Finally, Mason got a new hair cut and looks very cute. I think he might make his way into some of my pictures for my photo class assignment.
That is about it for now. I now have to make call to get a copy of my MRI for my next back injection and download the paperwork for my US citizenship. My green card is expiring in December and I have to find out if it would be worth it to get my citizenship rather than renewing my green card. I'm torn at the moment because for reasons my husband and others can not understand I am very proud to be a Canadian. I am very proud of my country even with it's draw backs. It still is a place of great people, beauty and heritage. I miss it all the time, but I guess since the chances that I'm ever going to get to live there again is slim to none I should just get over it and try to embrace the country I live in, eh?

Something Fun

My cousins wife, Emily posted a note to her Facebook page that I thought was kind of fun. She had 22 questions about herself that she asked her little boy to answer. So I took her advice to ask my own kids to see what they would say. Now remember Ethan is 7, Holly 4 1/2 and Mason who is 2 didn't answer any.

1. What is something Mom always says to you?
Holly: Clean up
Ethan: CLEAN UP!!!

2. What makes Mom happy?
Holly: When I brush my teeth
Ethan: I help you out

3. What makes Mom sad?
Holly: Not helping
Ethan: When I don't listen

4. How does your Mom make you laugh?
Holly: When you shake your booty
Ethan: Tickle me

5. What was your mom like as a child?
Holly: She helped her Mommy out
Ethan: You had yellow hair, right?

6. How old is your Mom?
Holly: 28 (I like)
Ethan: 38 (right)

7. How tall is your Mom?
Holly: 38 inches
Ethan: 100 inches

8. What is her favorite thing to do?
Holly: Make dinner
Ethan: Sleep

9. What does your Mom do when you're not around?
Holly: Clean
Ethan: Get some turns (that is what my kids say when they mean get to watch a TV show of their choosing)

10. If your Mom becomes famous, what will it be for?
Holly: Giving water
Ethan: Owning a fancy house

11. What is your Mom really good at?
Holly: Playing Wii Fit
Ethan: Making dinner

12. What is your Mom not very good at?
Holly: I don't know
Ethan: Spelling (true)

13. What does your Mom do for a job?
Holly: Clean
Ethan: Taking care of us

14. What is your Mom's favorite food?
Holly: Spaghetti
Ethan: I don't know

15. What makes you proud of your Mom?
Holly: Cleaning the playroom (that is their chore)
Ethan: Good Mom

16. If your Mom were a cartoon character, who would she be?
Holly: Ruby (Max & Ruby on Nick Jr.)
Ethan: Garfield (???)

17. What do you and your Mom do together?
Holly: Clean
Ethan: Make dinner

18. How are you and your Mom the same?
Holly: Birthday (true, I had her on my 34th Birthday)
Ethan: We both like Canada

19. How are you and your Mom different?
Holly: I like TV & you don't
Ethan: Your a girl & I'm a boy (he rolled his eyes as he said this)

20. How do you know your Mom loves you?
Holly: Just because
Ethan: Cause you take care of us

21. What does your Mom like most about your Dad?
Holly: Kiss (giggling)
Ethan: He makes a good steak

22. Where is your Mom's favorite place to go?
Holly: Wal*mart
Ethan: Canada

This was fun to do and it made me laugh. I also saw a reoccurring theme through out, cleaning. I don't know if that is a good thing or a bad thing, but this was fun enough I think I will do it again when they get a little older and Mason can answer some questions too.

What a Week!

This week has been a long one, or should I say the last few days have seemed like a week.
Let me first start by saying that there is nothing else like the experience of being a Mother. There are so many times that make you smile and so many times that make you cry but it is those times that make you cry and then make you laugh after the fact that stick with you.
Friday was crazy as Friday's always seem to be especially since we have been having "Family Movie Nights". Friday night we have a kid friendly dinner where my kids can all help ether make it or put their plates together or both. Then we sit down as a family and watch a fun movie that we have rented from the Red Box, just for the occasion. For the most part it is a great night but it takes a lot of effort to make it all work, which of course means that I need some help from the kids to get all of our chores done before movie night can start. Unfortunately doesn't always happen and my patience gets stretched to say the least. This past Friday was no exception and by the time homemade pizza's were eaten and put the movie in I was ready to go to bed while everyone else enjoyed the movie.
Ryan convinced me to just lay down on the couch and take it easy, which I tried but to no avail. Mason was trying to run around with no diaper on because he wanted to sit on the new potty he got for Christmas. I, thinking this might be a good time to encourage him, like a dope, let him. I was rewarded with a big pile of poop in the middle of the bathroom rug, not a foot from his potty. After the great pleasure of cleaning up my son, the bathroom floor and wrestling him into his diaper, I again lay down on the couch in the hopes of some down time.
Just as I was dozing off, Mason who had been playing in his diaper unbeknownst to me wiped his little hand across my forehead. The smearing and the smell woke me out of my vegetative state with a jolt and I once again took my wonderful, loving, cute little boy into the bathroom to clean him up as well as my self. Only Mason can have up to 3 poopy diapers in under an hour. How I love that boy!
This was the most disgusting, mortifying experience I have had as a Mother, thus far. Totally GROSSED OUT does not convey the feeling I had at that moment. But now a couple of days latter I can now smile about it and I'm sure after more time it will be a memory I will laugh at. Fortunately and unfortunately, I am sure this will not be the only experience I will have that will invoke the same feelings I have had these past few days.
There was one really cool thing that I was able to witness with my kids yesterday, though. We were or should I say our neighborhood was descended upon by a ton of birds all at once. I have never seen anything like it and would have never thought that something like it would happen in the deep of winter. There where hundreds of them. Here are a few pictures that show only a portion of all the birds and the three pictures where taken all within seconds of each other. The dark dots are birds by the way.
Here is hoping to a calmer week.

Tis the Season

I was reading the Deseret News the other day and came across an article entitled, "Take time to fulfill your desires" by Connie Sokol. It was a really great article but there was part of it that stuck out to me. It said: "As we face our fears, ways come to light of how to develop our dream and people are put in our path at just the right time... to propel us to know and be more. Such a life-giving feeling is a byproduct we all experience from attempting to do something from the soul. As we expand whatever we offer, happiness and energy are infused back into our lives, that rejuvenating oil that greases the daily grind.
What's your soul's desire? What do you need to let go of to make room for?"
What hit me was the part about "rejuvenating oil". I've been struggling this past year. I've found my self "surviving" rather than "living" and not liking it. I've been lacking that rejuvenating oil that greases the daily grind in my life. So as it is the season for making resolutions I've decided to make mine to find my rejuvenating oil. I have no idea what that may be but I think the journey might be just as fun and the destination. Just as I was thinking all of this, someone was put in my path or rather something was delivered in the mail, at just the right time. The Davis Adult & Community Education filer that comes out 4 times a year. As I was looking through it I thought maybe I should take a class on something that peeks my interest, to help me find a passion I can rejuvenate myself with.
This is a scary thing for me. It means coming out of my comfort zone. Relinquishing some control on some of the responsibilities in my life. Which in and of it self is a growing experience. So I went the rounds with myself...trying not to let my fears talk me out of it. I thought "we don't have the money right now" and then I remembered I haven't spent all of the money my Dad sent me for Christmas, which by the way is just enough for the class I have my eye on. I talked to Ryan and he was VERY supportive of me taking the class. It is just for 2 hours, once a week for 6 weeks and I think he can see how much I really need to do something like this. Because if I'm happy everyone is happier. I felt like I was being smacked in the face, with "this is an opportunity, TAKE IT."
So today I take the plunge and make the call to register for my class. I'm taking Basic Digital Photography. You see I find myself being so jealous of my cousin Heather, who just happens to be a professional photographer, not because of her profession but because she has such beautiful pictures of her kids. I don't want to become a photographer but just want to be able to take some great pictures of my kids to cherish into the future without having to go broke paying someone else to do it for me. Did any of that make sense?
Anyway if nothing else I will have an outlet for some pint up creative energy and maybe I will take another class next time around, like maybe pottery or something. Just something to help me find a new part of myself that has been hiding.
So that's it, my New Years resolution, to take the time and energy to develop me. So wish me luck and I challenge everyone to take on the same resolution. Take some time to develop what the good Lord gave you, it will be a worthwhile investment.

Holidays

Now that the kids are back at school and Ryan is back at work I have some time to sit and write about the holidays.
Ryan was off of work on vacation as soon as the bank closed on the afternoon of Christmas Eve till today, so we have had him home to enjoy for almost 2 weeks. The kids like having him around, although they don't like having to watch so much football but Ryan was a good sport and shared the TV which made my life a lot easier.
Christmas Eve was quiet night with just us at home. We made breakfast for dinner (a first for us on Christmas Eve) and then opened one gift each. P.J.'s all around, even for Ryan and I. After getting the kids through the tub and in their new P.J.'s we sat down and read the Christmas Story. I found a board book at Deseret Book that put the Christmas story in a language the kids could understand. They always have too many questions about what this or that word means when we read right out of the bible. So the book was a great hit, it even covered the Book of Mormon's side of the Christmas Story which was great.
We then got Santa's treats all ready, a Coke Classic (which Ryan said was Santa's favorite) and a cookie w/ carrots for the reindeer. There was a little bit of an upset as I put the Coke in Santa's mug and didn't keep it in the glass bottle. Ryan was sure that Santa would prefer in be kept in the bottle while the kids and I was sure that we needed to use the mug, after all Santa is the only one to drink out of it. Oh well it's only once a year and "Santa" should be happy with the Coke or maybe next year he will get milk. ;)
The kids all went to sleep really well for it being Christmas and all but then again the Melatonin that I put in their chocolate milk did help a little. Now before anyone get all up set, Melatonin is natural and won't hurt anybody. I don't feel guilty about it as they needed their sleep and I needed my sanity. So it all good.
Christmas morning dawned with Ryan and I wakened by all three kids laughing and singing while jumping on Ethan's bed. They couldn't get up stairs as we had put the baby gate across the stairs. They knew not to come up until we came and got them. This was around 8 a.m not too bad for a Christmas morning. Ryan tried to get the video camera going but the tape he put in ended before it even started. So the only video we got was a few minutes on my camera that has a video mode on it. This is the first Christmas since Ethan was born that we don't have the whole morning on tape. Sad I know. Next year I will make sure we have tape and everything is ready to go, rather than just assuming that Ryan has it all done.
The kids were all excited. Ethan got his Imaginex Bat Cave he had asked Santa for as well as a Diji from Mom & Dad. Holly got a trunk full of Fairy dress-up stuff from Santa and the Ikea flower night light she wanted along with a couple of other flower wall hanging to finally finish her room from Mom & Dad. Mason got his very own drum set from Santa and a frog potty w/pull-ups from Mom & Dad. Do you think I want him out of diapers? Mason was and is so cute playing his drums, here is a video clip of him playing them:

We had a great Christmas, the kids all loved what they got even though we cut back a lot this year on gifts. Which made it a good Christmas for Ryan and I so we didn't got through the after Christmas guilt that we have suffered in the past for spending too much.
After we opened gifts and had some time to unwind we started getting ready to head down to Midvale to Ryan's parents place. But before we left we were able to talk to my Dad for a bit as well as my little brother Scot. We didn't get time to call my Mom, besides the kids like to talk to her via web-cam. So we were going to try her when we got back.
Once in Midvale the kids played while the adults opened their gifts, which was nice. We were able to just visit and have a good time without all the craziness. The kids came in latter. We got both of Ryan's parents "Suggies", you know the blanket with sleeves. Rhonda is always cold and Jim has lost so much weight this past year we though he might be feeling the cold a little more than last winter. Of course Rhonda's had a book light to go with it for her long hours of reading. They seemed to like them, I hope they did. We received a very cute picture type frame from Ryan's sister Liz. It is very cool and even more so because she made it. Ryan's sister Annie and her husband Dan had our names for Christmas and received some fun block letters spelling out "family", which were also homemade. I love homemade gifts, can I just say. We also received many other fun things from Ryan's parents. The kids received a little "Webkinz" along with a gift certificate to Target from Ryan's parents as well which was a huge hit! Ethan and Holly love "Webkinz" and I liked the fact that Ethan didn't get any more Legos that he got for his birthday. At least with a gift certificate I can steer him clear from the evils of Legos.
Ryan's Grandma Naomi and his Aunt Kathy came over for dinner of Mexican Salads for dinner. You know with the yummy rice, sweet pork, etc. So very Good!!! I have to say that it was the most relaxing, fun and enjoyable Christmas we have had with Ryan's family, even Grandma Naomi seemed to be in a good mood. It was just nice, not too much craziness, everyone getting along, just nice.
We headed home after much fun eating and Merry Christmas' all around. Once home tried to get my Mom on the web-cam before the kids went to bed but couldn't get her to answer. Sorry Mom but we tried for almost 45 minutes. The kids had gathered all of their favorite gifts together to show her but oh well no luck. We should have set up a time with her but we will know for next time.
The week after Christmas was just fun and laid back. My Dad had very generously sent us some Christmas money so Monday morning Ryan took all the kids to spend their gift certificates and money on even more toys. Ethan completed his Batman Cave with the Joker van, Mr. Freeze and the Bat Copter. Holly got a play mixer w/bowl, play food and a Little People Fairy Tree house. Can you tell she likes fairies? And Mason spent his money on a Little People Garage. He loves to put the cars at the top and watch them go down the ramp over and over again. They each got other little things but they all had a great time shopping with Dad and playing with all the fun new toys. Thanks again Dad, Jim & Rhonda for the spending money.
Monday afternoon I had to go back in for another shot in my back. It didn't hurt as much as the last time but I sure don't like the pain that I go through after the fact. I will only have to go back in once more and then hopefully I will be done. If not I will have to go in and be put under to have it taken care of. So here is to hoping.
For New Years we went over to our good friends the Ropers; hung out, watched the new Star Trek Movie and enjoyed lots of snacks. The kids got to pop poppers and make noise at 11 pm before going home. Thanks Jen & Craig from having us over it was really fun.
Once we got home, got the kids ready for bed and gave them their "New Years" hats, etc., Ryan took them outside at midnight to light off fireworks. Ethan & Holly thought that was the coolest thing ever. Mason wanted to be outside but was too cold and watched from the window. After the kids didn't want to go to bed, they didn't want to miss any of the "Happy New Year". They just didn't understand that, that was it. Holly is still asking about the "Happy New Year", so I guess that my explanation isn't the best. How do you explain it to kids in a way that they understand? I guess I figure it out, I'll just have to keep trying.
All in all we had a great holiday and it was a little sad to have it end, but we now have a great new year to look ahead too. I hope that everyone had as great of a holiday season as we did and that we all have an even better new year. Just think...a whole new adventure awaits!