Happy Heart

Today the sky is blue and the sun is shining.  It finally feels like spring and its those days that I love to open all the windows in my house and let the fresh air come through.  Spring & Fall are my two favorite seasons and I love them both for some of the same reasons.  The cool temperatures + sunshine + getting your hands dirty either planting or harvesting = Happiness.  As I sit here typing on my computer with my window wide open I realize that this is the first day in a long time that I truly feel happy.  Now don't get me wrong I've always been happy with my husband and children but we've had one thing after another go wrong over the past few months.  I feel like we've finally come through the storm both literally and figuratively.  Maybe it's just the weather...I don't know.
It seems like the whole words is in turmoil right now with oil spills, earth quakes, tornadoes, floods, etc. it's no wonder that people are looking for a simpler way of life.  I used to be skeptical of the whole "green" movement but I think I understand it now.  It's just a way of getting back to a simpler life as excess, or striving to achieve that excess = stress.  Living outside your means to keep up with the Jones, or because we feel like we are entitled to it all just because we work hard is just crap.  It's unneeded "stuff" that clutters our lives.  So I'll admit I'm coming around to the green way of living, not for any other reason than simplicity.  To have the feeling of contentment sitting in the sun reading a good book while the wind blows across your face. To truly have a happy heart.

A Day for all kinds of Mother's

Happy Mother's Day!  I have been influenced by so many wonderful women in my life and I am the person I am because of the lessons I learned from them.  So indulge me for a minute while I pay tribute.
First and foremost my mother, Apryl.   She of course has been the most influential person in my life.  She taught me how to me strong in the face of adversity, she taught me how to work hard and be responsible, she taught me how to be independent and most of all she taught me to have faith. She always has had faith that something bigger than ourselves was always in charge and that if we do our part things will work out the way they are meant to.  I am very proud to be the daughter of such a strong women.
My grandma Geniel of whom I named my daughter after. She is another women that has taught me so very much.  She help me develop a strong testimony of Jesus Christ and that there is is strength in family.  She was a stay at home mom who from my point of view was always happy  with her life.  She raised 7 children in a little 4 bedroom, 1 bath home that I always felt was filled with love, warmth and fun.  I have only happy and loving memories of my time spent in her home.  I love her so very much and it breaks my heart to see the toll that time has taken on her.   I'm sad to realize that she will not be with us for much longer in this life but know she will be in the next.  She and my grandpa have been the example of how I want to be in so many aspects of my life.  I love them for that and will for eternity.
Then there are so many others that have been examples and influenced my life they're almost too many to name but I will try.  To all of my Mom's sisters - you have each shown me great love and acceptance.  You have treated me like a sister not a niece and I thank you for that.  Dori, you are one of the kindest people I know.  Cindy, you are the example of style and grace.  Pam, you know your mind and stand up for what you believe in.  Julie, you are a kindred spirit who works so hard and doesn't take enough time for herself.  And Cherri...my big sister who took me under your wing while we were little and who is the kind of mother I want to be.  Who takes that time to silly dance with your kids before bed, who loves to laugh and who tries to look for the best in others.  I love you all for the wonderful mothers, wives, sisters and friends that you are.
I have countless cousins who are beautiful, talented and kind.  I have even more cousins who married wonderful women who are just as awesome.  I also have a very kind and gentle sister-in-law Ashley who brings balance to my brother Ryan's life.  I have other sister-in-laws who unfortunately I don't know very well and others I have never met but hope to.
My Dad has 3 sisters, 2 of whom against all odds has kept in contact with me and shown me great love and kindness.  Florance, who has passed away so many years ago but I still remember and miss her birthday calls to me each year.  She would sing Happy Birthday at the top of her lungs, although she couldn't sing at all, but I still loved it.  Joan, who has such a big heart and love of animals.  She taught me a great lesson once in my rebellious teenage years to sick to the principles of my faith as I had made a commitment and needed to live up to.  I also have to thank my Dad's wife Melody, who has encouraged my father to keep me in his life.  I know without your encouragement and support I, or my children would have the privilege of knowing what an wonderful man my father is.   I hope you all know that I feel so blessed to have been born to such a wonderful family.
I have also been lucky enough to have married into just as wonderful of a family.  My mother-in-law Rhonda is kind and tolerant (you would have to be to put up with all the teasing she does).  Who has showed me that it's okay to have interests away from your husband and that you can take some time for yourself and still be a good mother.  I have 3 great sister-in-laws as well; Liz who is stronger than she thinks she is and is so fun loving, which you can tell by singing / dancing even though she knows she can't do either very well.  Katie, much like my Aunt Pam, knows her mind and stands up for what she thinks is right.  Annie is the little sister that seems to be the glue that keeps everyone together. Ryan also has wonderful aunts and countless cousins who are amazing women as well.  Thank you all for allowing me to be a part of your family. 
Finally, my best friend in high school, Angie.  Although we have grown apart over the last 14 years she helped me to find myself under a mountain of baggage.  She showed me that I am in control of my life and that I was a victim only if I allowed myself to be.  That it was Okay to stand up to anyone, even those closest to me and say NO - I'm better than the way you are treating me.  She helped me turn the corner in my life, until I met my husband who helped me change the lane I was driving in.   There have also been too many friends over the years who have pulled me up when I was down (you know who you are).  Thank you for being my friend.
Thank you all for your examples and for your strength.  Happy Mothers Day!

Masculine Domain

Spring is here, at least that's what we've been told. You wouldn't know it by the weather we've been having of late, but in amongst the cold and rainy days there have been a few bright and sunny ones. Those are the days that Ryan likes to go out in the yard and be one with nature. He finds it therapeutic and takes great pride in his yard.  It has become HIS domain and I have been told not to bother with anything within that domain or face his wrath.  Needless to say I haven't pushed the matter too much, for the sake of his sanity or our marriage.
I'm finding that I like it when he is outside because all of the kids soon follow and I can have sometime to myself.  I especially love when Mason is outside, as he is such an active little boy who likes to get into everything, mostly to figure out how things work, or at least that's what I've told myself.  Mason loves to be outside and we've found as of late that he LOVES to help his Dad in the yard.  He has shown a natural attraction to dirt, plants and bugs.  Maybe it's the boy in him coming out but if it's one thing Mason is, it's a very masculine boy.  Most kids his age lose interest in things rather quickly, moving on from one thing to another but not Mason, at least when it comes to helping his Dad in the yard.  The yard work has quickly become their bonding time together. 
When Ryan gets out the lawn mower, Mason is quick to pull out is Little Tykes Mower (it was Ethan's once upon a time).  Mason loves to follow his Dad around the yard, mowing right along with him.
The only thing that seems to keep Mason at bay is the string trimmer.  I think it's only because it's so loud and seems to scare him just a bit.  Everything else he is all for, trying to learn the ropes of how to take care of the yard and he is only 2-1/2.  Mason and his Dad are bonding within "their domain" very quickly.  I guess every son has to have something that they can share with just their Dad, eh?

Have you Ever Wondered?

I, for one have always believed that things happen for a reason.  So I don't know about anyone else but sometimes a wonder what the heck am I supposed to get out of the things happening at this time in my life.  Now don't get me wrong we have been very blessed in so many ways, but lately we have just had one thing after another happen.  Not big things but a whole butt load of little things.  I'm starting to wonder what's next?  What am I supposed to learn and just not getting?

With all these things happening and just the general busyness of life, I have slacked in writing anything for about a month.  Today is Saturday, and I have lost my energy at this point of the day; Ryan has fallen asleep and the kids are watching "The Wonder Pets" in the other room, so now I have a few minutes to sit here at my computer and write. 

I am not going to start complaining about all those little things that have happened because we have been able to handle them and because I'm so grateful that they didn't turn out to be worse.  I'm just wondering what I'm missing.  I'm not one of those people that gets all upset that others have more than I do and becomes bitter because of it.  I'm one of the self-loathing types that takes it inward and wonders what I'm doing wrong.  I know I really need to get over it and that I would be better off looking on the "bright side of life" (add whistle here).  But somehow I managed to marry the same type of person, because he is the same as I am in that respect.  So here we are, wondering what we are not doing to have all these "lessons" in the form of little mini trials one right after the other.  The only thing I can think of is that we need to quit our Monty Python habit, maybe quit yelling at our kids so much or maybe be happy with our life no matter what.  Or, maybe it's because we are really trying to get our financial life in order and be responsible and all.  Maybe we are being tested to see if we really mean it.  If we can leave our credit cards locked up and live on less.  If we can start to take better care of ourselves and our family in this one area, then maybe we can take on another area in our life.  I really don't know but we are taking turns having nervous breakdowns while the other reminds us that "this too shall pass".  So we go on and on and on, on this cycle.  Trial, nervous breakout, regroup.

Wow - I have totally gotten off track of where I was hoping to take this, so let me go back and fill you in on a couple of things that have happened over the last month.  I will not bore you with all the things that have gone wrong but wish to cover the good. 
We had the great opportunity to go up to Idaho for my cousin Kandice's wedding.  She is my Mom's, sister Cindy's, daughter who lives in Canada.  She was married a great guy from Idaho so at first I thought they were going to get married in the Cardston Temple (she being Canadian), but was so happy that they decided to get married in the Idaho Falls Temple instead.  Which made it easier for us to be able to attend.  Most of my extended family was able to come down to Idaho with a few exceptions (they were missed) and the rest of the family already live in Idaho so it worked out great.  I was able to see/visit with them and we had such a great time.  Especially Holly as she was able to hang out with "the girls".  Thanks for letting her hang out with you guys, and thank you to Julie & Doug for letting us stay with them. 

Ryan's knows that I'm a happier person when I get to spend time with my family so he thought it was worth the trip.  Kandice was a beautiful bride and the spirit of love was so strong in the temple.  The picture was taken by my very talented cousin Heather, who just happens to be Kandice's big sister. We had so much fun visiting with everyone and the kids had great fun playing with all the kids.  It really made me want summer to hurry up and get here so we could go up to Canada and play some more.  I just pray that these little trails will stop soon so we can still make our planned trip.  Pray for me!
I have been taking a "Money Mastery" class through the Davis County Continuing Education.  I have learned a lot and now have the daunting task of going through all the paperwork in our office and getting things organized.  Being financially responsible is a lot of work!

As for Ryan he is getting ready to go to Disneyland with his Wells Fargo Associates for what they call an "off-sight", which is just a bunch of meetings they get to go to somewhere other than Salt Lake City and have some modivational fun along with it.  He is feeling guilty that all of us are not going along but I've assured him I wouldn't want to take Mason to Disneyland at his age.  He might take after his Mom and get lost while trying to follow Winnie the Pooh into his dressing room.
Ryan also finished the last book he had to read to Ethan's 1st grade class this past month and was sad for it to end.  Ryan even got his picture in the paper for his volunteering to read. Ethan's is doing so well with his reading, now reading at a 4th grade level.  He just has convinced himself that he is no good at Math, so we are working to break that train of thought.  He's such a smart kid.

Holly is finishing up her preschool experience and preparing for her "Spring Program".  She is dancing and singing around the house constantly.  She is such a girl!  No tomboy for this tomboy Mom.  :}

Mason has learned or rather figured out how to pull up YouTube on Ryan's I*touch to watch "Wow, Wow, Wubbsy", his favorite show.  It's scary how smart he is.  He is following in his brothers footsteps that way as well as getting into super hero's and runs around scaring the cats with a Batman mask on.  He is so fun!

That is about it for now.  I'm off to finish my Saturday chores and to wake up my husband.
Keep smiling!

The Little Things in Life

There has been a lot going on lately in our lives. Things that we are connected to but don't have to deal with continuously, but still affect us. Those things have made me stop and slow down for once and look around me. I have a habit of getting so wrapped up with my own life, my own little world that I forget the rest of the world for the most part, which is good...and bad.
Good because it helps me to block out all the bad in the world around me, with all the earthquakes, eruptions, murder and may-ham. I just can't watch the news anymore because it just makes me feel so depressed, scared and unsettled, but most of all out of control. I just can't fathom how people in government are so full of themselves that they can't even listen to each other. Don't get me wrong, I'm no saint and I have my moments but, come on people you are working for the good of others here.
The bad thing about getting caught up in my own little world is that I tend to focus too much on what I haven't done in my life. The person that I want to be and fail miserably at, the education I was going to get, etc.  I can't see what I truly have and find joy in the little things of life that I have all around me. But that has changed, at least for now, as I know I will start the cycle all over again no doubt but for now I will try to learn this lesson and be a little better than I was.
The first thing is that my father-in-law has been in Vancouver, BC for the Winter Olympics. With him there it has just brought into my mind how great it is to be a Canadian.  Now, don't get me wrong, I am very grateful to live in the U.S. It is a wonderful country and I am so grateful for the freedoms that it provides. I just am getting so sick and tried of the politics. I hate politics. I don't talk politics because I always end up in a no win situation. It is not something I even talk to my husband about because we never can see things from each others point of view.  Please no comments about Canada, because I refuse to acknowledge them. As many things in life, it is not black and white, good or bad, better or best, just different.  
The second thing that has happened is that my sister-in-law Liz had her baby the first part of the month. She had some complications with her delivery and the baby has been in the NICU for three weeks now. I feel so bad for them and what they are going through. My heart goes out to them and I am just grateful that I have 3 health and happy children that have never had any big medical problems (knock on wood).
Finally, my husbands great uncle Dick just passed away not too long ago. Dick was and is a wonderful man. Every time I saw him he was smiling. You could tell he loved his family terribly and I always felt accepted by him as part of it. I am very blessed to have met and known a man such as he. My heart and prayers continue to go out to him and his family.
So I have looked around and seen how truly blessed I am. I have three wonderful children that drive me crazy because of how strong willed they are, but I am so happy that they are. With that hardheadedness comes the ability to stand up for what is right. They each have great personalities and they make me smile everyday.
I have a wonderful husband who I love more than life. He is a huge dork, but he makes me laugh continually. He is a big kid but that makes him the best kind of father to my children. He sells himself short all the time but I see the character and goodness that is within him. The lessons of "how to be" that he is passing down to our children by his example.  I am so blessed to call myself his wife. I have become a better person because of him.
So do yourself a favor take the time to turn on some music and dance with a child. It is so freeing and so worth the time. It will make your day so much better because I know it has made mine.

The "Pre" Season

It seems like we have been doing a lot of "pre" stuff lately, which make me come to the realization that things are going to be changing once again very soon.
Sunday, Ethan and I went to his "Great to be 8" presentation. For those who don't know, it is a presentation given to fill kids and parents in on what they need to do to prepare for baptism, cub scouts, etc. I think Ethan thought "Great to be 8" was going to be something different and was very disappointed that it was another meeting in his eyes, but was very excited for Cub Scouts once he heard he got to go on camp outs. We even got his baptism date and time: December 4, 2010 at 4pm. I know it is 10 mouths away but when each ward has a set time on the 1st Saturday of each month it is pretty easy. Ethan is the only one in the ward with that date so we get to put together the whole program. So mark your calendars and be prepared to participate.
We also just got the packet in the mail with all the paperwork for Holly to start Kindergarten this fall. The "Kindergarten Round Up" as they call it, is on March 12th. That is when we will register her for school, take the tour of the school and meet all the teachers. She has to have all of her shots before we can register her so we have an appointment with her doctor for tomorrow morning. She hates shots but she is willing to go so she can go to school.
Holly keeps asking me if "today is her last day of preschool? Am I going to Kindergarten tomorrow?" She is so excited and just doesn't understand why she can't start right now.
Mason will be old enough to start preschool in the fall (barely) but I think we might wait until January 2011 to start him. He is talking a lot but it is not always clear enough to understand and I didn't think that he was going to be ready to potty train this summer. I might be wrong about that. He keeps going into the bathroom, stripping down to nothing and sitting on the potty all by himself. Mind you, it is often after the fact but he is making the effort all on his own so I think we are on our way.
What is boils down to is my kids are growing up far to fast. That once you start getting used to something, it always changes. I'm getting old and my kids are starting a really fun time in their lives. I want them to slow down and enjoy their childhood but they are all too ready to be "big". That is the way life goes, eh? I'm just not sure if I'm ready for it yet.

Itching....

I am itching to start a new project! I had my last photo class on Tuesday. The new dishwasher (isn't it pretty) was delivered and installed on Wednesday and here it is Thursday. I have started making a list of the things I want to do with notes on measurements and ballpark costs. I know our downstairs shower needs to be done but I haven't figured out how to do that yet and wont until we start pulling the old stall out. Ryan is not up to it yet and I know if I start it without him I will be in trouble. We also have our upstairs bathroom floor to do but we were advised that laminate flooring is not the best to put in the bathroom because of the humidity so....it is either vinyl or tile. I don't want to do a really nice floor until we can do it right which means a new vanity because the one we have is not put in right (big surprise). So we need to do a inexpensive fix but have no idea how to do it, especially how to seal it so water doesn't leak through the floor when the kids are in the tub. (sigh...)
So I have started with things that I can do in a day or two, that is not to expensive and can be done in stages. Which brings me to the longing to go to Lowe's by myself tonight. Do you think I can convince Ryan? Maybe but we will see because I know it is a dangerous prospect, me at Lowe's by myself. That store is my down fall....
Anyway I think I can convince Ryan into letting me get a wall mounted shelf for our office. We still have 3 boxes that I haven't unpacked since we moved in two years ago. They have all of my scrapbooks, memorabilia and stuff in them. If I can get the office into better working order maybe he will go for that project.
Next I want to repaint the railings in my entryway. My good friend Cathie Hughes did an awesome job with hers and we would like the same look in our house. Then add a shelf along one wall in our tall entryway to match. I really am excited about this project because Ryan came up with it all by himself and I really liked the idea. A first for us - to both agree on something right off. Miracles do happen you know.
Then I want to paint and put vinyl floor tile down in my laundry room. This is where Ryan and I are going to have a difference of opinion. He wants a black and white floor, which I like but it will cost twice as much as just a regular vinyl tile. I figure it is not a room we really are going to be showing off so why go to the extra expense. The cats are the ones who use the room the most since their litter boxes are in there, so this might me the last thing we do.
As you can see I'm itching and very excited to get started.

Change

I think that spring is finally on the way and a little early at that. The snow has all melted and the big snow storm we were suppose to get came, went and melted as quickly as it came. So on to spring cleaning/de-cluttering, not only our house but ourselves. Ryan got sick a couple of weeks ago and stayed really sick. He ended up going to insta-care and was told he only had the flu. Then he went to his primary care doctor who did a few more tests and found out that 1) he had Mono again and 2) since he doesn't have a spleen, he needed to be getting an inoculation every 10 years to help his immune system to do what it needs to. So he got his shot and has been taking his meds and hopefully is on the mend. I have really missed the help around the house, but with all the crap that has been going on with our health lately (Ryan sick and my back) we have found we really need to be taking better care of ourselves. So we are doing little changes here and there.
As with anything I do my homework. Finding good healthy recipes and getting rid of the junk. Replacing our stores of junk food with health snacks, and both of us not eating after 8 pm at night, which is hard because we both get the munchies around 9 pm. The hardest part is laying off the sweets. It is both of our comfort foods, chocolate for me and cookies for Ryan. When we get stressed out that is the first thing we crave. So we are having to figure out something to replace it with and I don't know about Ryan but I haven't been able to figure that part out yet.
Now we just need to get our bodies feeling well enough to start exercising, which is hard when your in so much pain. I had the last of my injections in my back yesterday and am hoping this one does the trick. The first one helped a little, the second one didn't do anything and even made it worse in some respects. Now with this last one I am hoping for a miracle. I have been achy and in a lot of pain yesterday, not the same kind of pain but just achy all over the lower half of my body. Today is a little better but I am waiting for tomorrow. The second day after my injection is the worst because all the anesthetic is out of my body and I really feel it. I have to wait two weeks after the injection to see if it has done any good. If it doesn't they are going to have to go in and drain the cyst and that means surgery. Surgery on the back and anywhere near the spinal cord makes me nervous but it is ether that or living in pain for the rest of my life, so what do you do?
Our dish washer finely died (almost). It still runs but we have to pretty much rise every last food particle off the dishes before we put it in the dishwasher so it was time to get a new one. We picked it out Saturday and it will be delivered and installed tomorrow. We lucked out because we get our installation cost back through rebate and then there is the energy rebate from Rocky Mountain Power for getting a "energy star" rated model, which is always a plus.
Then of course we have to start the bathroom floor in the next few weeks and then on to the downstairs shower. That should take up most of our tax return but at least we don't have to go into debt for those things. Can you tell I'm trying to have a positive attitude?
Well I'm trying to look at the bright side and not get so stressed out about things. It's cheaper than chocolate. ;)